What was missing can hold a great power over us

- Childhood emotional neglect -

Relational / Interpersonal trauma may not be as obvious to detect as trauma from a car accident, and thus, it can be more challenging to recover from it. Relational trauma is the emotional, psychological, and physical trauma that occurs in the context of relationships, whether it is between parent and child, siblings, partners, friends, colleagues or even strangers. When we have experiences where we feel powerless, threatened, forced, and/or unsafe, we may be left with long-term consequences that affect our body and mind in a profound way.

Especially when we experience these traumatic events as a child in relationships with those who are expected to be trustworthy and caring for us, this can impact on the development of our personalities, lifestyles choices, and beliefs about ourselves and the world in such ways that could initially help us cope with the impact of these experiences as children. However, these coping skills often no longer serve you, as an adult, to achieve the life and relationships you want. Nonetheless, many of us still use the same coping skills that we developed as a child in situations where we are expected to function as a mature adult. Naturally, we become confused and fail to create the life that we want and deserve. 

Here is an example of childhood abuse/neglect:

Kathy was often left alone in the house with her younger brother to take care of him from the age of 7, while both her parents were at work running their small shop day and night. Her grandmother was supposed to check on the kids, however, she often fell ill and was unable to respond to the needs of young children. In the end, Kathy just knew it would be her job to make sure that her brother and her grandmother were okay. Although she survived this daunting job, as an adult, she continues to feel anxiety and suffers from perfectionism at work, in relationships, and just about all the time.  

Childhood emotional abuse/neglect can cause:
Chronic depression 
Constant/frequent high anxiety in social situations
Harsh self-criticism 
Difficulty calming down when upset 
Unhealthy relationship patterns 
Negative self-image 
Relentless perfectionism 
Low self-esteem 
Disordered eating patterns
Addicted behaviors
Stress-related physical issues, i.e., sleep difficulties, digestive issues.

What are the ways that help overcome childhood emotional abuse/neglect?

  • Healing unresolved childhood memories that still disturb you
  • Practicing self-acceptance and building self-compassion
  • Learning to forgive your mistakes as a child and accept her limitations 
  • Embracing the unmet needs of child and helping to heal the wounds
  • Building inner resources to strengthen adult self

Don't be overwhelmed. I will guide you through this journey that will lead you to healthy relationships, motivation and energy to pursue your goals in life, and freedom to be who you are.

Take the first step now, to learn better coping skills that will support you to create the life you want and deserve.